


Homo Iratus (and Homo Irritating)

by Eshnoazot



Series: Skirting the lines between fandoms. [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cheesepuffs, Gen, PR department, Public Relations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-05 07:31:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1810336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshnoazot/pseuds/Eshnoazot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I feel that you should know that Scott and I did an extensive study and concluded that New Yorkers have more Cheesepuff-esque snacks than anywhere else and that the shelves of thousands of bodegas are stocked with brands offering a subtle difference in colour, flavour and shape. After today, there will be thousands less bodegas with cheese puff products. So can you check to see if the Hulk is lactose Intolerant?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homo Iratus (and Homo Irritating)

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, I am free from University! Finally I can return to the land of fanfiction.

Lydia chewed on her bottom lip in intense concentration as she shifted through papers on her desk, in search for the press release form she swore had been beside her Kombucha only a second ago. The PR department had sent it over for her approval an hour ago, along with a post it note subtly insinuating that Pepper Potts should maintain her own twitter account in conjunction with the official Stark Industries account, and a reminder that Tony Stark’s twitter account was incredibly popular and _carefully maintained_.

This insinuation could mean only one thing; Clearly the PR department hadn’t spent enough time reminding themselves of the reason why twitter accounts were handled by the _PR department_ , rather than being placed in the hands of individuals close enough to Tony Stark to be a clear _invitation_ to the former CEO to post a collection of self-created Avenger memes and inappropriate contributions to the selfie Olympics.

Sighing, Lydia shifted through the paperwork again and frowned as she found the post it note floating freely, and intently wondered how to best write _‘NOT A CHANCE IN HELL MORONS’_ in a corporate friendly and diplomatic phrasing.

But first, where was that damned press release.

Lydia hummed and paused as the lyrical tones of her ringtone cut through the quiet office. Briefly glancing at the screen her lip quirked as she answered it with a tone of fond exasperation in her voice.

“Hello Stiles,” Lydia stretched with her free hand and pulled her hair back behind her shoulder, “Are we meeting at Organic Avenue for Lunch? I only have to crush the souls and dreams of a few more PR practitioners before I could really go for some Falafel.”

“ _Um_ ,” Stiles replied, with the distinct sound of panic, “Help? I, ugh, adopted the Hulk and then the Hulk adopted Isaac and now both of them are smashing up the side of a bodega in Harlem looking for cheese puffs. I feel that you should know that Scott and I did an extensive study and concluded that New Yorkers have more Cheesepuff-esque snacks than anywhere else and that the shelves of thousands of bodegas are stocked with brands offering a _subtle difference_ in colour, flavour and shape. After today, there will be thousands less bodegas with cheese puff products. So can you check to see if the Hulk is lactose Intolerant?”

“ _Um_ ,” Lydia replied, before sighing deeply and sorrowfully farewelling her lunch break as she dived for her work phone, “Okay, I’m texting Stark now, is Isaac okay?”

“I think he’s traumatised but I feel that I would be too if I was kidnapped in werewolf form and taken on a cross-city adventure to find a cheese puff with a perfect texture,” Stiles paused and the sound of muffled yelling and the crunch of breaking cement filled the line, “I mean finding that perfect balance of crunchy but palate-dissolving is like looking for a Banshee in kitten heels-oh _wait whoops_.”

“Actually, I’m wearing ankle boots,” Lydia replied, “Also the Hulk is not lactose intolerant.”

“How do you _even know_ -“

“Don’t question my genius and I won’t question your stupidity,” Lydia inhaled, “Now werewolves? _Spill_.”

“We were just _hanging out, bro to bro, mano-a-mano_ ,” Stiles paused, “And the Hulk really wanted to see puppies, okay? He’s pretty paternal and all caring and we should buy him a pet. Maybe a Buffalo or a Furby. My point is that I am not responsible for over-enthusiastic friendship building exercises that had admittedly gotten just a little out of hand.”

“ _Isaac_ ,” Lydia reminded, checking her work phone, “Stark is on his way with Captain America; I’m not helping you to explain to the _Star Spangled Man with a Plan_ why the Hulk is robbing convenience stores.”

“It’s not a convenience store, it’s a _Bodega_ ,” Stiles reminded, “And I plead the 5th.”

“ _Stiles_ , you’ve _already_ told me too much.”

“ _Doctor-patient confidentiality_?” Stiles tried, “I mean, the Hulk is a doctor right? Well, does that even count for non-human people? If Thor goes to a family counsellor with his weirdo wannabe Sauron brother can the Counsellor live tweet the session?”

“Patient doesn’t hinge on human-ness. Even if they could, do you really think that irritating a _pseudo-viking god_ with a hammer is really a good career move?” Lydia reached for her Kombucha and swirled the bottle, “Besides, I don’t think the Hulk’s other half would appreciate being classified as a non-human, Stiles. From a human rights perspective that’s a nightmare. But how would the lines even be drawn on humanhood when you can literally change species from Homo Sapiens to Lupus Homo Sapiens overnight?”

“Oh Iron Man’s here; I can’t see Cap though,” Stiles let out a whoop, “Speaking of binomial nomenclature, I’m pitching _Homo Iratus_ as the scientific name for Hulk-kin. We can’t call his species Hulk, y’know?”

“So your solution is to give him a scientific name that literally means _‘Angry Man’_ ,” Lydia sighed but brightened as she noticed the edge of a press release peeking out from underneath a file, “Why don’t you bring that up with the Hulk before you go making scientific announcements to the world.”

“…. _Maximus Homo Iratus_?”

“No, I’m sure that modern science has concluded that you’re _Homo Irritating_ , Stiles,” Lydia told him, “Look, get yourself and Isaac out of there if you can. I’ll do what I can for you here, but I have work to do. I’m hanging up now.”

“So I shouldn't tell you that the news crews are down here and Stark just sat down besides the Hulk and started snacking on _Cheetos_?”

Somehow she didn't think that the PR department had an crisis management and recovery plan for this.

“I'm hanging up and calling Pepper,” She announced before hanging up and throwing her phone in a drawer with a scowl, just as her work phone rang with the words ‘Pepper Potts’.

 No doubt Stark would already be live tweeting the whole debacle on his incredibly popular and _carefully maintained_ twitter account.

The PR department could shove it.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave reviews! The more I receive the better my mood, and the better my mood, the easier it is for me to write. ^~^


End file.
